Counselling Saved Our Marriage
*Alex and I met in 2008 and have been married for five years now. We were blessed with a healthy baby who came into our lives in August 2012. However, we suffered a phenomenon called 'baby quake and crying spells' that caused sleep deprivation. Unfortunately, my partner was not there for me when I needed him the most.
There are many other depressing events where I questioned my sanity. I could not share my grief with anyone as these were embarrassing, shameful, and low. Over the years, the same frustrations cycled over and over again. I asked myself, "what is the point of continuing?" We were both emotionally drained, and I decided to go separate ways.
That's when we met a marriage counsellor. In our initial session, we were asked to share about our childhood. It was a lightbulb that our childhood upbringing deeply impacted our personality and behaviour. In the following sessions, the counsellor helped us to understand what was happening in our relationship and to us individually. She helped empower me to heal some of my wounds by working out our goals, dreams, and recoveries in this marriage.
Today we have a stronger bond and commitment that we both feel. We communicate and share our needs. We listen and are responsive and not defensive. I've learned to appreciate and trust Alex more. Besides providing financially, he is much more active in parenting our daughter and helping around the house. He has also become more transparent so I can regain a sense of trust and security. If there were any conflicts, we would talk about it openly, honestly and forgive each other.
We do believe there are many couples out there struggling like us or worse. Please do not feel ashamed or give up and do nothing. Do not feel embarrassed to reach out for help.